Today there are many applications for finding a partner, but TinderEven though he is one of the oldest, he is still difficult to remove. It is used in 190 countries, 56 languages different, with 75 million users active every month. And even so, many of them continue to be disappointed with the results and complain about increasingly common phenomena such as ghost. How can an app that reaches so many people not help them find new relationships?
This question was asked by a group of psychiatrists and psychologists from the United States, Switzerland and France, specializing in cyberpsychology. They wanted to know why Tinder is sometimes so frustrating, so they took an online survey. 1387 app users.
Thus, they confirmed that ghost Tinder has an explanation that has nothing to do with algorithms or app glitches. And it’s not the fault of the user who receives it, as is often thought. This is simply because this application is becoming more and more common to use with a goal that is very different from what was intended.
Causes ghost in tinder
You are talking to a person, it seems that everything is going well, that you get along and have similar tastes. Flirt more and more. You want to meet him, so you propose or you don’t even do it, but you admit that you like it. So this person disappears. She doesn’t respond to any other messages, you don’t hear from her anymore, or maybe she talks to you, but with a coldness that has nothing to do with your previous conversations. they just made you ghost.
This phenomenon is far beyond the scope of any application. may arise even in a relationship. But the truth is that Tinder users are quite familiar with it. Most of them have experienced it at some point, and unfortunately the first reaction when you encounter it is usually to think it’s your fault. That you did something wrong, that you are not attractive enough, or that you did something that might upset him. It is important to note that this is not the case. Even if any of the above happened, it’s logical to say, not disappear or show a cold attitude, hoping that the other person will disappear. But this is not the fault of the application or the algorithm it uses.
And the fact is that of the 1387 users interviewed by the authors of this recent investigation, no more, no less than half admitted that I had no interest in personally meeting other users. In addition, two-thirds were already in a relationshipor even married. So if they disappear when they see interest coming, it’s simply because they never wanted it.
So why are they using it?
During the survey, the authors of the study asked Tinder users about their reasons for using the application, the number of matches and personal dates, their marital status and their selectivity in choosing a partner. In addition, they were asked about some psychological factors such as levels of impulsivity, depression, loneliness and self-esteem. Finally, they were asked to rate their overall satisfaction with Tinder and the in-person dates they were given.
General satisfaction was 2.39 out of 4, so the application didn’t go well. Ghosting was undoubtedly one of the main reasons why users weren’t happy with Tinder.
And it’s hard to understand that there are people who use the app for anything other than meeting potential partners, be it sex or anything more formal. This riddle is solved by analyzing psychological factors users. Typically, these people use Tinder to have fun and, above all, raise self-esteem. Flirting with other people gives them pleasure, but they do not want to date them, sometimes because they already have a partner, and sometimes simply because they do not feel ready for such a relationship.
This is not bad in itself. However, harm is done to one who is excited, not knowing that will never meet offline. Therefore, ideally, clarify it from the moment the decision is made. If you just want to chat, no problem, but should have said. We must not forget that those who are on the other side of the screen are people, they have feelings and ghost it can destroy the self-esteem that the other person is trying to raise.
Anyway if they make you ghost on Tinder, on any other app, or in real life, you need to be clear that it’s not your fault. And also, that if someone doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to say goodbye when something goes wrong, maybe disappearing is the best thing that can happen to you. Think about this the next time you search for someone on Tinder.
Source: Hiper Textual