Christmas This is a time of carols, gifts, decorations and, of course, treats and holidays that we don’t always want to go to. But sometimes it seems that decline invitations This is prohibited on these dates. In fact, this is what usually costs us our jobs at any time of the year. We think that we will harm the person who invites us, or we may even create conflict.

However, according to a new study published by West Virginia University psychologists and New York Institute of Technology researchers, declining invitations is not as bad as we think. Actually, psychological cost It can be better for everyone if we force ourselves to attend a holiday that deep down we don’t like.

Additionally, this applies regardless of whether the inviter is our own pair as if he were someone less close. We must learn to say no. For our own good and because in fact, whoever gets rejected will not have it as bad as we usually think.

Declining invitations isn’t so bad

This withdrawal study consisted of five experiments. In the first case, 2000 volunteer participants were divided into groups. couples. In each of them the invitation was simulated go to a famous chef’s restaurant. One member of the couple was the one who invited, and the other received the invitation. The latter was told that he must answer that they preferred to remain calm at home. Those who invited were told that their friend refused for this very reason.

When asked about their feelings on this matter, it turned out that they were more likely decline the invitationthey predicted that their friend would be angry, disappointed, and refuse to invite them anywhere again in the future.

However, after asking those who made the invitation, they did not feel as bad as another participant predicted. “People tend to exaggerate the extent to which the person who issued the invitation will focus on the actions of the guest who declines the invitation, rather than on the thoughts that were running through their mind before he refused,” he notes. Julian Givione of the authors of the study.

Another experiment involved real romantic couples. They were separated based on how long they had been together. This may be less than 6 months, 6 months to 1 year, 1 to 5 years, or more than 5 years. After this separation was made, each member of the couple was interviewed separately. One was asked to propose to the other a plan for working together that they really wanted. Meanwhile, another was told that he must abandon the plan, whatever it was, saying that he preferred to stay at home and rest.

Again, when asked about their feelings, those who had to decline the invitation felt bad. They thought their partner would be angry. However, although there were differences between people, in general the answer was not so negative as they expected.

The effects in the study were the same as those observed in real romantic partners. Photo: Edgar Castrejon (Unsplash)

It might even be useful

On dates like Christmas, we are surrounded by so many stimuli and encounters that everything can become tiring for us. mental health.

Thus, these scientists conclude that declining an invitation can be beneficial for everyone. The rejected person does not take it so hard, and the rejected person can enjoy this time by doing something that fills you up more.

In short, psychologists always insist on the importance of learning to say “no” in various contexts. This is, in fact, one of the most innocent. It’s simply about prioritizing our needs without social impositions. At the same time, as a rule, we will not harm another person and, above all, we will not harm ourselves. These are all advantages.

Source: Hiper Textual

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