How to find out if your parents are really toxic

There are supposedly psychological terms that have nothing to do with psychology, and, ultimately, they extend like gunpowder. There is nothing more to see in the case of highly sensitive people (PA). But, if there is an even more common term, this is that it is from Toxic people The discourse of toxicity in the relationship has reached a point when we even talk about Vitamin peoplepolarizes our way of interacting with other people only on the scale White or blackThe field is the situation that there are more articles aimed at recognizing toxic pairs, toxic friends or toxic parents. The latter, for example, we recently saw this in the article The best lifewho shared some Spanish media.

But to what extent the article is true? Are there any toxic parents by definition? How should we act if we find that ours or that we behave as such with our children?

To answer everything that you must clarify where the term comes from and what functions are usually determined with it. We all talked about toxic people, no matter how psychological, we will not stop using it. But we must take into account that one thing is to mention it unofficially, and the other to use it to classify relations of any kind formally. This is a mistake.

Where do toxic people come from?

The term “toxic people” began to use it for the first time in 1995 by the author of the book Toxic peopleLilian glass. She is a communications specialist and image consultant, who also wrote books such as Toxic menField

Although we should not fall into the bias of authority and give how, in this case, the psychological term simply because in this case it is even a psychologist. She is just a writer who found an adjective with a hook for her books, and, seeing that she worked, she decided to continue to use her.

Since then, more or less criteria for determining toxic people have been established. In general, these are those that They do not respect the limits of othersmake fun of everyone, never admit them guiltBut they are trying to blame others for everything that is with them, and even completely manipulates. In fact, they often use the aforementioned guilt to manipulate the people they treat. This is applicable to couples, fathers and mothers, friendship … good for everything.

What about parents?

In the article The best life They determine the four behavior that determine the fathers and mothers as toxic.

To begin with, they will be when They do not respect the limits of their children. For example, if they need to know all the time what they are going to do, where they will go or who. Especially when this happens at more advanced ages. The second criterion to establish that fathers and mothers are toxic people are based on Wine as a means of manipulation. This is attached to the third criterion, which refers to Inability to recognize their own mistakesParents are also wrong with the field. But, according to this article, if they are toxic people, they deny this and try to transfer their children. Then they talk about use Processing of silence as a punishment. And finally, they belong to parental

The latter refers to the transfer of adult duties for children. For example, be completely responsible for your younger brothers.

There are no toxic people

It is true that if parents or someone, often carries any of the actions explained above, tension and problems in relationships can be created. This should work so that this does not happen, and sometimes it may even be necessary to Psychological help.

But if we extrapolate it on any relationship, we were all “toxic”. When we had, we had problems with the guilty of our guilt, or we decided to stop talking to someone when we are angry. Just to give two examples.

Therefore, some experts say more about Toxic behavior than toxic people. This is a case of a psychologist Gema Sánchez CuevasWho talks about this in the article The mind is wonderfulField

According to this specialist, not a single person decreases to anything as generalized as “good” or “bad”. Therefore, these types of lists to check whether your parents or your partner are toxic, sometimes harm than they help.

Another psychologist, Mexican Maurisio Sanchez, Talk about the problems of this term in the journal Mind and scienceThe field also insists that toxic people do not exist and that, in addition, a generalization of this term at a social level can divert attention True behavioral problems and problems of relationsHe also talks about the field toxic behavior, What logically we would have to pay attention to. Nevertheless, he mentions that we coped with the term so much that we generalize it with the smallest amount, and when the relations are actually harmful, we see him one more.

Therefore, instead of talking about toxic people, we must analyze the behavior of the people we interact with, learn inside, if they hurt us, talk about it and, if nothing changes, make decisions about it. In doubt, always seek psychological help. Now, returning to the topic of parents, it is true that all the examples that they are set are part of a bad way of communication. They must work if they are given individually or together. But we must be careful with generalizations that even distract More serious problems with relational problemsA list of 5 criteria for a complete determination of relations between parents and children is too much generalization.