Making New Year’s resolutions almost never works.

At this moment in 2023, many of us are wondering, as it is accepted at this time, what happens to these praiseworthy New Year’s Solutions that we are considering in the full rush of the New Year holidays.

Driven by optimism—or, if you prefer, a dopamine overdose—when the new year began, we projected into our minds an image of the person we would be from now on. More organized, with more family time, hobbies. One that practices healthier habits focused on the goals we strive for.

Perhaps the first conflict we faced was: should I start from day one or wait until the Three Kings pass? It doesn’t matter, we were strong enough to overcome any temptation given by the calendar. Our goals are not myopic, but embody genuine change to form the new and improved self that we so desire. We know that we will face many obstacles along the way, but nothing can stop us!

However, after a month, some of us have already given up on the diet, we continue to call our parents for only ten minutes a day to fulfill our obligation, we do not separate plastic and paper from the rest of the trash, we only go to the gym to make payment for tuition. In the worst cases, the frustration of not being able to achieve our own goals causes us to experience a “rebound effect.”

What causes us to fail in our attempts year after year? The answer is obvious: we were shipwrecked because of poor planning. Good intentions, will in any case is not enough. It’s not enough to be clear about the “what,” you also need to work hard on the “when,” “how,” and, most importantly, “why.”

Return from vacation – problematic date

One of the biggest mistakes we make is setting a problematic date for starting changes. The time to return to routine, commitment, the dizzying rhythm of everyday life after a period of relaxation and joy is perhaps not the most favorable time for innovation, since it represents a change in itself. pretty stressful. This is true both for those who make New Year’s resolutions, and for those who do it at the beginning of the school year, after the summer holidays.

It is desirable to gradually restore agendas and gradually introduce small variations. Which brings us directly to the “how” question: there is no point in pursuing all goals at the same time. This can make us feel overwhelmed. At the most, the moment we fail to fulfill one of them, the illusion balloon will burst, our strength will weaken, and other New Year’s resolutions will begin to fall one after another like dominoes.

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Photo by Ketut Subyanto at Pexels.com

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Focusing energy on more achievable goals instead of making many New Year’s resolutions

If we want to make big changes, it’s best to take our time! Durable hits boil. We will have more guarantees if we start by focusing all our energy on one of the chosen goals: for example, the most accessible.

Once it is defined, it is important to visualize the different ways to achieve our goal. We know that there are many roads leading to the same destination, but some of them are treacherous. We must avoid decisions that promise immediate results. I think of rigorous training programs for people who have never exercised, or lightning fast diets that can shed ten pounds a week.

Excessive repetition or disproportionate demands can lead to a gap between expectations and results. Returning to the previous examples, diets or training plans for immediate effect – everyone knows – are extremely monotonous and demanding. Both monotony and excessive demands will make us victims of boredom; one from a lack of stimulus, the other from an overabundance.

Feet on the ground

Boredom will make us feel an irresistible urge to abandon our New Year’s resolutions forever. In order not to go to these extremes, it is necessary to develop a varied plan of action, adapted to our capabilities and resources. Taking on new challenges is fine, but it goes without saying that our best ally on this journey is to stand on our own two feet.

Let’s be realistic. We all wish we could learn English in a month with one of those intensive courses that promise miracles in four weeks. But, perhaps, it is more convenient to combine the academy a couple of times a week for a long time with immersion activities, watching TV shows in the original version and occasional exchanges with natives.

The final key to not giving up right away is to be very clear about why we want to change aspects of our lives or ourselves. We are beings in constant transformation who not only need to be on the move to avoid the stagnation that hates the so-called “comfort zone”, but also to strive to improve.

Our steps must always be guided by a strong intrinsic motivation. Keeping on the horizon the reason why we made the decision to change something in our daily lives, and never lose sight of it – that’s the last trick. We must constantly contribute to this, celebrating, above all, small victories.

This article was originally published on Talk. Read the original.