On the edge at work: how to tell a colleague their habits are annoying

According to the specialist, any problem with a colleague can be solved by speaking openly and tactfully, but it must be approached with consideration.

Step 1: Prepare for a conversation with a colleague

Before you start talking to a coworker about their annoying habits, it’s helpful to take some time for self-reflection. We may explode emotionally, but we don’t really understand why. As a result, you may say a lot of nasty things to your colleague that will ruin future relationships. You need to understand what exactly causes the discomfort and why. This will help you express your thoughts clearly and will not provoke aggression in response.

Step 2: Choose a place and time to talk

You need the right moment to talk to a colleague. You should not start this conversation casually when everyone is busy with urgent matters. It is best to find a time when you are both free from work tasks and then talk calmly. It is especially important to choose a convenient place where there are no other employees, otherwise the interlocutor will find himself in an awkward position and the conversation will again lead nowhere.

Step 3: Use “I statements”

When communicating with a colleague, you should use “I statements,” a term coined by American psychologist Thomas Gordon. Its meaning is that a person speaks only about his feelings or observations and shares only his own experience and does not evaluate another. Using I statements promotes more effective communication and helps avoid conflict. For example, you might say, “I get irritated when you talk too loudly on the phone because it’s hard for me to concentrate on my work.” The main thing is to express your feelings without accusations or attacks.

Step 4: Propose a constructive solution

After expressing your feelings and needs, you can propose to your colleague a solution that suits both of you. For example, ask her to use headphones when talking on the phone or to reduce the amount of perfume.

Valery Gut also points out that if a colleague’s annoying habits continue to bother you, it is important to learn to manage your emotions. Practicing deep breathing exercises will help you stay calm in these types of situations. Furthermore, for this you need to concentrate on your affairs and tasks.

In the end, the expert believes, one can try to focus one’s attention on the positive aspects of the situation, try to show tolerance and understanding towards one’s colleague. If the irritation persists for a long time and begins to affect your general well-being, do not hesitate to seek support from a psychologist or other specialists.