Whathow long does love last? We have all asked ourselves this question at some point. We often recall with nostalgia the first years of a relationship, when everything was filled with laughter, attention and love. sex. Lots of sex. We wonder why things have changed so much, maybe we did something that messed up the relationship. But this is not necessarily the case. Love relationships pass several stages, the duration of which is not an exact science, although it has approximate limits. When the phases escalate, what we feel changes, there are even moments that shake the foundations of the relationship if they are not anchored enough. But precisely for this reason, this should not be taken as something negative, but as proof that everything is going well, or a sign to leave something that cannot be fixed.
Psychologists usually talk about 4 stages. One of euphoriain which everything is perfect and we think about another person for 24 hours. one more of connectionin which we strengthen the relationships we established during the euphoria. Then the third stage a crisis and finally, if this is resolved, another one of deep affection.
Therefore, in order to talk about how long love lasts, we must first establish what love is. It’s just euphoria and the beginning of a bond early stages? Or is it a much deeper attachment that emerges after the crisis is over? It’s not easy to answer. One thing is clear: if we skip the early stages, it may be because the links were not properly established. Because euphoria is great, but even more so to have a person who loves you and is happy to share his life with you. Maybe love is what it is.
Can we say that love lasts 4 years?
When we ask ourselves how long love lasts, the answer is: it lasts. 4 yearsbut this applies only to the early stages.
The two scientists who have done the most in-depth research on this topic are Helen Fisher of the Kinsey Institute in Indiana and Lucy Brownfrom the Einstein College of Medicine in New York.
Both have conducted tests for decades aimed at measuring the brain activity of couples at different stages of their relationship, and have come to the conclusion that the most tangible love lasts about 4-5 years. First comes a stage lasting about a year, during which not only sex and frequent thoughts about the other person. This is also the stage at which you see only positive things. In fact, these scholars describe it as forgiving the negative. This is what has an explanation, because decreased activity in the prefrontal cortexan area whose function, among other things, is to process negative judgments about other people.
Probably, if we started by focusing on the shortcomings of a person, it would be much more difficult for us to start a relationship. And from an evolutionary point of view, this would be very bad, because everyone has defects, and this would mean that we stop reproducing ourselves.
But as soon as this initial euphoria wears off, there are already other incentives to start seeing flaws. That’s when the stage comes early attachment or connection. It has been observed that areas of the brain such as the nucleus accumbens, which have a very close relationship with the reward system, are activated during this stage. This is the system that is responsible for the release of dopamine in response to certain evolutionarily necessary stimuli. For example, sex or food. In these cases dopamine it generates a feeling of pleasure that encourages us to continue to maintain this habit.
And in the case of love, dopamine is released not only during sex. Also in the mere presence of another person. This person becomes a kind of addiction, because we want to spend time with him, despite the fact that we already see his shortcomings.
In addition, they are issued oxytocin and vasopressintwo hormones associated with attachment to another person
If we ask ourselves how long love lasts, the answer will usually refer to this phase. It is estimated that this lasts 4 to 5 years from the start of the relationship.
Breakups Don’t Happen When Dopamine Drops
When dopamine starts to decrease, the relationship turns into something more relaxed. We no longer feel this dependence on the other person. However, if you planted good seeds in the early years, it’s time to start harvesting them as a bed. stronger relationship. If not, then about 7 years, the so-called crisis.
It is at this stage that we, in a sense, understand that everything is no longer the same as before. It makes sense that they have changed. Our brain allows us to make objective judgments about another person and no longer causes addiction. But, if the relationship was properly secured, affection must remain. Otherwise, a break may occur. Actually, 6-7 years old This is a very vulnerable time for a relationship. They can enhance or destroy it.
How long does true love last?
If crises are overcome, oxytocin and vasopressin they keep breaking free. Therefore, there may not be the same lust as there was at the beginning, but the attachment is still intact. In fact, things can go even deeper.
To get to this point, psychologists describe how important it is not to fall into monotony. Do new thingsthat help strengthen those bonds. So love will continue. Much quieter, but I love it nonetheless. Because love is constantly thinking about a person, smiling when you throw a towel on the floor, instead of being angry and constantly wanting sex. This is true. But it also means cooking something new together, smiling when the other person is enjoying their favorite song, or looking into their eyes and feeling as lucky to know you as you are to know them. Years pass. Will it last 4 years? Euphoric love, yeah The real one can last much longer. Or much less.
Source: Hiper Textual