A study published just a few days ago shows that loneliness increases the risk in men suffer from depression. On the other hand, many studies have been published over the years that suggest that the happiest womenusually are single, no children. This is not a generalization, of course. There are men who are happily single and married women with children who feel their lives are fulfilled and happy. But socks are what they are, and it’s very interesting that mental health in loneliness be so different between men and women.
This data is very interesting because it helps us understand that no matter how many people claim it, they still no equality between men and women on many levels. In this sense, we have very deep-rooted gender biases. For example, who has never said or heard that “look how great he is, he helps his wife with the housework”? No, you do not help around the house, it is advisable to participate as equals. That’s what shared responsibility is. Unfortunately, this still does not exist. And perhaps this is why the happiest women are single.
Why does men’s mental health suffer so much when they are lonely? What is the healing role of marriage that women do not benefit from? There are many hypotheses, but before we talk about them, let’s see what the research says.
Mental health and loneliness
There has been a lot of research done on mental health and loneliness. However, most of them were carried out with very homogeneous groupswithin Western societies. They concluded that there is some beneficial role for marriage and relationships in terms of mental health, but more data is needed to see whether this is widespread.
Therefore, a group of Chinese scientists recently conducted a broader study on this matter. It analyzed data from 100,000 people belonging to 7 different countries: USA, England, Ireland, Mexico, South Korea, China and Indonesia.. All these people had different socio-economic and educational levels, in addition to belonging to different age groups and genders.
On the other hand, there was a subgroup 21,000 people who were followed over a period of 4 to 18 years. The goal was to see if there were changes in mental health from singleness to marriage.
The results turned out to be very interesting. In line with previous studies, it has been observed that lonely people 80% more likely to develop depressive symptoms. But this was almost exclusively for men, especially with highest socio-economic level. In women, this effect was not observed in any group.
Culturally, this seemingly healing effect of marriage on heterosexual men has been observed much more in the United States, England, and Ireland, and much less in China, Indonesia, and South Korea.
Who are the happiest women?
Many studies also confirm that the happiest women are single women without children. In 2021 psychologist Wendy Patrick published in Psychology today an article on this topic with statements from several colleagues.
Among them there are Paul Dolan from the London School of Economics, who explained that the happiest women are single women without children because men earn more benefits of marriage. To this Wendy Patrick herself adds that married women, on the contrary, tend to experience more physical and mental problems for this reason. They are Yin and Yang. Opposite situations. But what is the reason for this?
The happiest women prefer to be alone
In Patrick’s article, Paul Dolan explains that married men they take less risks. What is colloquially and patriarchally called “settling down.” For this reason, they have better health and can devote more time to their professional career. But without stress. They have women at home who do many more tasks.
On the other hand, for women the situation is completely different. It is estimated that on average women in heterosexual couples spend one more hour a day performing household tasks that they should share with their partners. This means that some 15 more working days per year. When you live alone, it is clear that there is no other option, but you should not have a partner. Moreover, as the psychologist explains in Patrick’s article Emily Grundyfrom the University of Essex, women too They become more emotionally involved.
IN Hypertext We talked about this topic with a psychologist and sexologist. Laura Marcilla. “Marriage or having a partner in itself should be beneficial, improve our quality of life, and not worsen it,” he notes. “But despite everything gender bias that exist, different education, different gender socialization and different expectations of men and women, still today most housework “They continue to attack women.”
The psychologist insists that we cannot generalize in this regard, but we can talk about patterns. On the other hand, he points out that “due to the fact that relationships change and economic independence and greater access to the labor market, today a woman does not need to get married to be able to live with dignity” And not if you want to have children. In fact, Marcilla points out that the latter is something that Not all women want this. But if they want it, they don’t have to get married.
This gives women a certain freedom. Marriage does not benefit them in terms of task distribution. Vice versa. Nor does it give them the benefits that it might have had in the past, because fortunately there is more equality now than there was then. We can work, drive a car or open an account without our husband’s permission. And thank God. Thus, we are faced with something that was previously almost impossible to talk about: possibility of choice.
“It is true that there is still a lot of pressure on women to get married, partner and have children because typically we fall short. There is pressure on men too, but to a lesser extent. This means that resisting these social pressures means having very clear ideas, so a woman who challenges the social norm that marriage is ideal, in many cases, is undoubtedly doing so because she is very clear that this is not what it is. what she wants. happier not to be in an unsatisfying relationship or not to be a mother than to conform to imposed social expectations.”
Laura Marcilla, psychologist and sexologist
Perhaps this is why the happiest women are single. At least that’s one of the reasons. They were able to choose what they wanted. In fact, in her article, Wendy Patrick recalls that historically women were considered more selective in choosing partners. They prefer to spend time alone until they find the perfect partner, rather than staying with the first person who comes along.
Because today we understand that marriage or the very fact of having a partner is not a necessity. As Marcilla remembers well, this doesn’t even apply to sex, since we can have pleasure without needing help. Of course, sex as a couple is wonderful, but if we want a stable relationship, sex isn’t everything. “Couples do not complete us, at best they complete us, and only if they adapt to our life project, our dreams, our lifestyle, etc.,” emphasizes the sexologist interviewed by this publication.
Having choice makes us happier. Women are in charge victims of patriarchybut men don’t realize that they suffer too. Of course, they don’t tolerate “feminazi” attacks, as many of them complain. They suffer misfortune if they cannot have on their side that half of the population which the patriarchy firmly reviles. Because our society over the years has taught women to be submissive and men to be dependent. We should all consider this.
Source: Hiper Textual
